you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
