I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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