i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
