as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
