SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
