it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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