let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize