It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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