i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
