Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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