We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
