3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
