So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
