just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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