she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
