Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
