you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
