he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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