hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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