i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
