guys are only as good as the porn they watch
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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