Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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