Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i now understand why vodka
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
