either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You pole danced in your parka.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we're so committed to being not committed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
