I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
they're like a gay fantastic four
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
