Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
