So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Two words: nipple clamps
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