and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
