I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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