so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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