at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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