All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
