you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
