Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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