You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
