My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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