Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
