either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
