Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
