Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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