i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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