that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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