Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
