i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
