I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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