we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
