He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
