i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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