And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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