How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize