She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
