If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
