if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
