I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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