READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
