can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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