people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize