I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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