so explain again why im purple
no
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
